I’ve been remiss with this blog. I have failed to mention one of the things that I love most in life. I speak not of candy corn, beer, or napping, although those are all marvelous creations of which I take part often. I speak of books.
Reading Dumb Mom’s blog today, made me think about my own love affair with the written word. I can’t tell you the first book I ever read- and neither could my mother. She was too busy writing down the first five-hundred words my older sister uttered. (Oh, the neglect that the youngest child endures!) If I were to guess, it was probably something along the lines of War and Peace. I say that only because I’m like, totally, super intelligent.
I do have to give my mom some credit though. Once she was done with my sister’s list, she read to me- and she read to me often. And I became hooked. The summer I was seven or eight, my parents came up with a little reading program in which us kids could earn “TV credits” by reading books. A little counter intuitive maybe, but it worked much better than the whole ‘tie us down and threaten to whip us’ bit.
Early on, I started pretending to be sick so I could stay home from school and read. I stayed up late at night and read by flashlight. When my parents took my flashlight away, I would read by the light of my digital clock. I would bring books to school, to church; pretty much anywhere I went go I was am the little nerd reading a book.
Seriously, 11 year olds should not be reading this. I've been traumatized for life.
My book selection was always a little…er, diverse shall we say? I came home from the library with books about Josef Mengele and the horrors of Auschwitz stashed in between a pile of slutty historical romance novels. I was 11. I had no idea what climaxing was, but oh boy- everyone sure did seem to like it a whole bunch.
My reading declined throughout college/post college years. Why, I don’t know – maybe it was because I was busy with school, or quite possibly because I turned 21 (or more importantly- someone I knew turned 21). It is likely, had they let 11 year-olds into bars, I wouldn’t have read as much.
It was merely a coincidence and not a wily plan on my part that my husband saw none of this before we got married. It all started on the flight home from our honeymoon. I had just bought Twilight (about three years later than the rest of humanity). He says, “Put your book down and talk to me.” About five minutes later it registered to me that he had just spoken. I, then, in my first act of wifely insubordination, refused. He then says, “Why did this just come out after we got married??” I shrugged my shoulders, giggled to myself and went back to Edward.
Twilight. The root of all evil.
I may have forgotten to tell him about my reading habits. And since old habits die hard, I decided that he will just have to adjust to the fact that when I am reading, not only will I most likely not respond to him if he speaks to me- I probably didn’t even hear him to begin with.
I would say that he has adapted rather well thus far. He bought me about eight books for my last birthday, and just the other day when he was visiting me he asked what I wanted to do. I got excited and said, “Let’s read a book!” So he sat on the couch reading his magazine while I read my book. Yes, I think two people reading in the same room together constitutes an activity. Shut up.
I don’t even have time to start talking about why you should probably never let me borrow a book or why my mug shot is posted on library walls all over the country. So really, I just spent 700 words telling you that I really, really, really like books and in the future you might have to hear me blabber about books I’ve read. Or scrotums. Or maybe books about scrotums.
{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }
I LOVE this. Love it. While I’m not entirely sure I want to read books about scrotums, I know that I share your complete and utter love of books. Let’s roll in fields of books forever!
Tamsin recently posted..The Party
I loved this post. I am the same way with books. Do not bother me. Do not expect me to parent. Do not touch the bookmark! You should make a reading list, I would love to see it!
Kathryn recently posted..Summer Camp for a six-year old will cause NIGHTMARES
Hey Suz:
I know you were curious about what it is like to be a librarian and this seems like the perfect place to leave a response. I working at the central branch of a large Canadian Library on a floor devoted to non-fiction. Based on this post I would say you read way more than I do!
Believe it or not, I was never really interested in reading all that much, I became a librarian because I believe access to quality information is one of the few equalizers left in society.
So on any given day I help new Canadians prepare for the citizenship test, help seniors try and understand twitter (Did you know Dr. Phil was on Twitter!?), help homeless people set up email accounts and figure out how to use computers so they can work on a resume.
I also have a bit of a special focus with my job because I am the business librarian so I spend a ton of time helping budding entrepreneurs locate statistics and conduct market research for their business plans.
Sometimes my job is sad. This one time I was trying to figure out how to help an Iraqi refugee get into the United States to go and pick up her sister’s Orphaned child. Other times it can be quite trying. As a manager I have to kick out drunk people who will often swear at you.
It is also awesome to be at the library all day. Sometimes I will just think of a book I want and I can usually grab it off the shelf whenever I have a spare moment. It is pretty cool!
SO I hope that gives you a better idea what it is like to be a librarian. If you worked on the 4th floor of my library, you would get to give people advice on what fiction they should read etc. I would be so screwed if that was my job!
PS My Seven Link Post is now up!
Kristen
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Oh I love this post!!! I’m a crazy book fanatic too and my readers just have to know that. Talking about books is so fun!
And I’m there with you! I think reading together is awesome. Sometimes I’ll read while The Hubble plays with his music. As long as we’re in the same room right?
What are you reading now?
Great post!
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I went form Dr. Suess to my aunt’s Harlequin Romances. Then, around eleven, I discovered the romance section of the local library and found out how many things can ‘throb’.
I’ve been a bibliophile ever since. My hubby, Sweet Babou is very patient about it all, since it gives him more time to do geeky things on the computer.
Do romance novels count as books about scrotums?
Betty Fokker recently posted..It’s all about the glamour- people
I’m a huge reader!!! I fell in love with Edward on a plane as well!
I too got into romance novels quite young (thank you, Johanna Lindsey) and wasn’t sure what a heaving bosom what, but by golly I wanted one.
I read anything and everything I can get my hands on!!
Brynn recently posted..Hand over the Louboutins and monogrammed pillow- Mr Disney and no one gets hurt
I LOVE books.
LOVE LOVE LOVE
And now I know to try and hide that from my future husband.
Good idea.
@ Maranda- I’m in the middle of a memoir kick right now, so I’m currently reading ‘Angela’s Ashes’, ‘Mennonite in a little black dress’, and William Zinnsers ‘How to write about your life’.
I also tend to read multiple books at a time.
Oh, I’m also reading a book called ‘Comma Sense’- sort of a review of all those pesky grammar and punctuation rules that I’ve forgotten (or never learned).
@ Betty- Yes, I do believe that romance novels probably count as books about scrotums. Oh- good ol’ Harlequin. I should read one of those now, if for nothing else than for giggles.
@ Brynn- it’s addictive, huh?
@ Megan- It worked out well for me, even though I didn’t plan it like that. And now he’s stuck with me. So yes, I’d recommend this route.
So, because I have ADD, I have this weird habit of not reading something once I click over to go read it, at least, not right away. I scan through it, read from the bottom up, and my eyes hit upon any words that are either links or all caps. Thus, the only thing I read on my first pass was “scrotums.” Then I clicked over there. THEN I came back here. And now I love your blog. Hello!
And yes, books are way like crack for nerds. I read at least four or five at a time, although only two of those are likely to be ones I’m proud to admit to reading.
Boy, i love that i just found another book lover among the SITS girls!!! it’s all Nirvana_mama’s fault as usual – i found you over there! I’d love to hear about the books you liked as a child? I’m working on a guide to children’s literature and I love it when people tell me what sparked their imaginations as children!
I can really relate to this post, I love books. I’ve been so busy lately that the only place I get to read is in the bathroom. I have three books going on in there right now. I also like to re-read books. One of my favorite books is “Hell’s Angels” by Hunter Thompson and I bet I’ve read it over a hundred times.
One site that I recently discovered is http://www.goodreads.com. Not only can you find categorized lists of neat books along with reviews, but you can set up your VERY OWN SHELF of book covers: read, currently reading, & to read. This way you don’t totally forget when someone recommends a “must read” to you. This all comes in handy for my 10 minute well beaten path to the public library.
For Anna, 3 books that we carried with us in our “book mobile” & to restaurants to read out loud (I’m not talking vacations, but city driving!) were: “The Trumpet of the Swan,” “Charlotte’s Web,” & “Indian in the Cupboard.”
Oh yes! Total book nerd here! I used to read by the headlights of the car behind us when I was a kid, though never by the light of my alarm clock. For some reason everyone is shocked I don’t need glasses.
I can remember days when I was 10-13 or so where the only thing I did all day was read and eat.
Unlike you though, I did not have a wide variety. I read horse stories and Nancy Drew. My first fancy word was in third grade when my teacher told me I needed to expand my “genres”.
Count me among the people who can’t live without their books. I have a house stuffed to the BRIM with books of all kinds. My mom read to me too, and read quite a bit herself. A reward for me as a child was a trip to the local library. I still can read for hours if I’m not interrupted.
My husband isn’t a reader, although he does love his magazines. But books? Not so much.
And am I the only one struggling with the electronic book thing? I want to love it, but I can’t seem to let go of my paper. Maybe it’s a tactile thing.
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@ Meridith- I also am not so sure about the ebook thing. Although I LOVE the idea for long trips, because then you don’t have to worry about fitting 12 books into your bag. But at home- I would rather read good ol’ paper
@ Jana- I’ve never read Harlan Coben- I’m going to google him. I’m not so sure I recommend single authors per se- but I definitely have favorite books- I’m going to start writing about them here. There’s too many to try to list here!
@Cait- I LOVED Nancy Drew- I probably read everyone. She was awesome.
Sus, I agree with you! I am also a huge fan of books. But I’m very close-minded. I like certain authors, and I don’t stray very far. My favorite author is Harlan Coben. Have you read any of his books? Any authors you recommend?
You said it. Books are like crack for us nerds. I gave up trying to fight it and now I’m at peace with my eclectic self. You and me, we’re like THIS (me twisting my fingers around in the classic nerd gang sign). Edward rocks. The cashier’s at bookstores must think I’m crazy. I’ll have a book by the Marquis de Sade, a computer manual, a history book on medieval architecture, and a werewolf romance in one shot, and then pick up a Hello Kitty bookmark at the register. Great post! You crack me up (no pun intended)
TRR recently posted..when in doubt- read a book…review
@TRR- Oh yeah, bookstores think I’m crazy as well. Think of all the fun we’d have in a bookstore together!!!
Hi
Stopping by from SITS 31DBBB.
I am a book lover too. In fact each year I try to read 60 books. I get close, but I’m yet to make it. This is my year, I can feel it!
I’m a bit of a mixed reader, but my weakness is paranormal romance… but don’t tell anyone!
Good luck with your studies, I’m sure you’ll knock em out! (See what I did there… sorry, couldn’t resist)
You already know my stance on scrotums, so I don’t need to tell you how much I would love a book on scrotums. Would still prefer a stress ball that looks like a scrotum, though.
I love this TV credit idea, too. Yesterday I heard on the radio that the Alberta government (I live in Alberta. THAT’S IN CANADA, GUYS), is giving away $5000 to a high school student who refrains from smoking during their high school career. Getting paid *not* to do bad shit?! SIGN ME UP, BITCHES.
Also, I, too, love climaxing.
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I was totally that nerd girl too. I remember staying home in middle school so I could finish Little Women. Or maybe it was Wifey by Judy Blume (there was a penis on the first page!) Then in college my roommate could not believe that I was going to stay home on a Saturday night to read. But I was half-way through Helter Skelter and it was amazing. Two hours later I was home alone and scared shitless. Ah, books. I miss them. I’ve been reading Eat, Pray, Love for about two months. Two kids=reading on the toilet.
I am intrigued by the book on scrotums. Would this be a memoir? A style guide? Maybe one of those big coffee table books with the oversized pictures? …Because I’d like to see my in-law’s react to THAT.
Curiosity recently posted..Write write write die swear swear punch swear write write write
Hmmm….I was never considering publishing a book about scrotums- but maybe this is a new direction I should think about.
The only downside to a love affair with romance novels is the fact that one day, you are going to have sex with a real person.
Then the Climax moves to a different set of books … mystery novels.
Betty Fokker recently posted..It’s all about the glamour- people
REAL TIME TRAVEL AT ITS BEST! Picture yourself with spouse sitting enjoying a serene beach. Only spouse is engrossed in China’s Cultural Revolution (Mao) and I’m fighting Franco in the Spanish Civil War(The Return). ~ Definitely Hopeless Together
I am a nerd, I love to read, and hear books calling my name sometimes when I walk by. Those of course I have to buy, and thank God for the library, at least I don’t have to buy them all…money for gas and food is a good thing, right?
And Betty Fokker, I have read some of those books too, and yes, I would say at least some of them count as books on scrotums. Then Ms. Fokker you talk about Climax, the Mystery. I think someone should write a book about it…then we all need to read it!
Thanks Suz for sharing, this is the most fun I have had all day! You make me laugh so hard! I love reading your stuff! I’m so glad I found you, I am now your BlgFrog friend
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Angela recently posted..Lightning- Thunder- RAIN!
So funny that you mention reading books about Auschwitz at a young age. I always thought I was the only one that did that. I found comfort in the stories of concentration camps, which is so freakin’ bizarre. In retrospect I think it made the hell of childhood a little more manageable if I knew others had it worse.
And since you liked those books, have you read “The Book Thief”, a recent bestseller and one you’ll likely love?
I have to admit I’ve never read any of the Twilight books … or Harry Potter. I’m a total book freak, I know.
Great post!
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@ Lisa- I was obsessed with the Holocaust, I can’t even tell you how many books I read about it. I started reading The Book Thief, but then got distracted- had a hard time getting into it I guess. I was just thinking the other day that I should start it again. I have also never read Harry Potter.
@Angela- I just rediscovered the library- it’s amazing, I can order books online and go pick them up. Sweet!
I to am a book nerd. I love books and I’ve already instilled my love of books to my 15 month old. We can sit and read books together for hours. Sadly they are not quite as interesting as what I would pick for myself and I think if I read “Little Blue Truck” one more time I will run down the street screaming. But, I love reading and my son loves reading and that’s the important thing. I’ll have to remember the reading credits for tv watching down the road…
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Books and I are getting married soon. We are so in love. We have been together for…hmmm…maybe 1st grade? So, imagine my surprise when I realized YOU were also in love with Books. I thought he was mine…all mine! I guess we can share. Seriously, though, I wish there were a candle with “book scent”. Love it and loved this post!
Sorry, but…I never get the dang “comment luv” to work the first time!!
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Suz, maybe you could write a book about scrotums AND a sort of biography.
You could call it “The Scrotum Knows”
Betty Fokker recently posted..It’s all about the glamour- people
The ‘comment luv’ is giving me flack as well.
Betty Fokker recently posted..The Kinky Starfish
I just left an award for you on my silly blog…if you want it!