Why I wish to be a dog in my next life

by Suz on August 1, 2010

Below is what I’ll be doing for the whole next week. Finals week. This means I’m in a really bitchy super good mood and pissed really happy all the time.  Summer + Finals = very cantankerous Suz.  As I do every semester, I’ve calculated exactly how low of a grade I can receive and still get the requisite ‘B’ in all my classes as to not fail out of school.  At this point in the game, I would really like it if I did not fail out.  Although I think I’m safe, I should still probably get off the internet and start studying again.

Could be worse, I suppose.

Below is what my dog will be doing all week.  She has already formulated a plan to get the squirrel to come down of the tree so she can eat it. She will stay right by the bottom of the tree until either the squirrel tires of teasing her or stupidly comes within her reach.

The squirrel is loving this.

If her plan fails, she will then continue to prowl around the great wild that is our suburban back yard, keeping our family safe from squirrels and furry baby rabbits.

It is a rough life.  I get the feeling that she sort of expects this kind of life, and I’m not feeling any sort of appreciation for all the hard work I’m doing in order to provide her with a better life.  I suspect this is what it feels like to have teenagers.  Except without the whole chasing squirrels bit.  But what do I know?

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jules August 1, 2010 at 9:39 pm

Your dog is SOOO adorable!! Has she ever actually caught a squirrel? Good luck with the studying.

Michele August 1, 2010 at 9:52 pm

I used to look at my fat cat Spanky and think, “that’s the life.” He just sat around and slept and ate and got his belly rubbed, and I had to procrastinate over writing papers and sleep off hangovers and try and remember if I drunk-dialed someone.

Ah, I miss my cat :)

Good luck with Finals!

Wombat Central August 1, 2010 at 10:19 pm

What a pretty girl she is!

Our other dog always loved to chase critters. We always cheered her on when she went after the squirrels. Never did catch one.
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Betty Fokker August 2, 2010 at 12:47 pm

What does it say about me that my mind went straight to doggy style?
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Suz August 2, 2010 at 3:22 pm

Thanks for bringing that up Betty. Hadn’t crossed my mind…. But I should’ve known!

Marty Wombacher August 2, 2010 at 1:16 pm

Good luck with the finals and your dog is doing a noble job indeed!

Brynn August 2, 2010 at 3:07 pm

She’s adorable!!! I had a dog, Archie, who looked like her a bit!

Great luck with finals!!!!!!!!!!!

spokeit August 2, 2010 at 5:18 pm

Seriously, so true. What would life be like if all we had to worry about was when the next meal was coming and if that squirrel could ever really be what’s on the menu for that next meal?
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Colleeng August 2, 2010 at 7:09 pm

Hi Suz! I’m visiting from SITS today. I love your dog post here. My dog works too hard. He’s always on the clock defending us from every squirrel, bird and airplane that comes anywhere near our back yard. When we bring him inside so he can have a break, he still sees a million things we need to be protected from. Yesterday I had to change a lightbulb with constant barking and jumping in the background. Mom on a latter just didn’t seem okay to him. He’s probably right tho because I am klutzy! Love your site and the personality you’re bringing here. Rock on!
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Zannah August 2, 2010 at 9:29 pm

Suz, I’m officially donating some of my lazy weekend time to you. Good luck with finals!
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TRR August 3, 2010 at 1:02 am

We always want what we can’t have, right? If you sat under trees waiting for squirrels to attack and eat they’d lock you up in some mental ward. And we all know what happened in “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” ….
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Lojo August 3, 2010 at 11:03 am

“I suspect this is what it feels like to have teenagers.”


I want to come back as a cat. Although one of my father’s cats. He puts ice cubes in their water dishes so the water stays cooler for a longer period of time.

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Suz August 3, 2010 at 11:15 am

My dad gives my dog a bedtime snack. Every night. What’s worse- if he’s not here, he makes sure to call me to remind ME to give my dog a bed time snack. Parents!

Gemma August 3, 2010 at 12:33 pm

I have the exact thought at times.
Oh and Lojo.. I do that too 😛 If its really hot ouside I’ll put ice cubes into my dogs water, maybe I’m crazy? 😛
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Suz August 3, 2010 at 1:05 pm

Nah- not crazy. If it’s hot outside I can see the reasoning behind it.

Rachael August 3, 2010 at 12:42 pm

Yeah, sometimes I really wish I could trade places with one of my cats for a bit. BTW, your dog is super cute!

Helen Hanson August 3, 2010 at 3:50 pm

Ah the vigilance of dogs! I was used to the sloth of cats, but now I have a doggy sentry ever-alert on the premises. All the best for your finals!

SecretKept August 3, 2010 at 10:23 pm

What a gorgeous dog! Good luck with finals!! I’m so glad to be done with school, though I miss the vacations. And will probably take some more classes soon…Any way Good Luck!!

Kelley August 4, 2010 at 2:32 am

Ugh. This reminded me that dogs really DO eat meat and not just “dog food”. I know it’s made of meat, but…it’s not squirrel! I can’t think of a dog tearing into a squirrel. Well, I’m thinking of it now… Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I linked up your blog on mine b/c your definition cracked me up! I love word games. Did I already mention that?

Steph August 4, 2010 at 3:02 am

Hey Suzie!

Thank you so much for the comment love the other day! My internet messed up and I was unable to reply your comment straight away! But I did share your link on an SITS discussion page and am retweeting both this post and your army post.

I would absolutely love to climb with you if you’re in CO ! Thank you so much for encouraging me, you’re AMAZING and I love your blog :)

you might enjoy this tarzan swing post of mine…i look rather silly in it but i was actually thinking about you before i decided to do it as my initiative of the day.

Take care!

Kristen August 5, 2010 at 1:15 am

Hang in there Suz, finals are almost finished!

Believe it or not I actually miss grad school right now! I just finished a week’s worth of holidays and it is back to work for me in the morning.


Any plans for after finals week? How much do you have left till you are done the degree?
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Jen August 5, 2010 at 7:09 pm

Good luck with finals. Chasing squirrels is the highlight of both my dogs’ day. Well, that and eating anything resembling food.

Brahm (alfred lives here) August 6, 2010 at 6:46 pm

First of all, your dog is soo cute.

Second of all, I want to come back as my dog Alfred. This occured to me as I was driving him and my stepdog to daycare the other morning, waking up early before my 14-hour shift, and scrambling to arrange to have someone pick them up as partner is out of town. Yeah tough life there…

kim August 10, 2010 at 7:25 pm

My dog does the same thing but for birds. There will never be any birds in or around our yard if he can help it. Chai, on the other hand, does an awesome job making sure the floor will never spontaneously float up by holding it down with her body.

If I come back as I dog, I hope I come back as one of my dogs. They are spizooilleddddd. Rightfully so.

hilarious dog fails August 15, 2010 at 1:02 am

These are the most humorous dogs I ever seen! You must take a look! Click the link: Funny Dogs

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