Remember last year when I joined the Army? No? Me neither…mainly because I haven’t done anything remotely resembling military service, unless napping and eating snacks in the Denver airport USO lounge counts.
Makes me sort of feel like a slacker and faulty investment. Apparently, all that money direct deposited into my bank account for anesthesia school wasn’t just the government being nice. At least, I am a better investment than Solyndra and will eventually do something someday Armyish.
A few weeks ago I got a call, “Offering” me a spot in the Basic Officer Leadership Course (BOLC) at Fort Sam Houston in November. I’m pretty new to this Army stuff, but I common sense told me when the Army “offers,” it’s best to accept.
I would be more nervous about attending BOLC on such short notice if I hadn’t spent the last few months watching four seasons of Army Wives.
I’m sort of an overachiever like that.
In the true “go get em” attitude, of what I’m assuming is that of an Army officer, I’ve been preparing for my first Army experience at every available opportunity, using all available resources. “Available” in this sense has generally been confined to tips gleaned from ex-Army friends, while imbibing in adult beverages at the bar.
It generally goes something like this:
Me: “Hey! I need to learn how to salute, I’m not sure they’re doing it correctly on Army Wives.”
Friend who is tired of talking about the Army: “Like this.”
Me: “Okay! Let me practice…am I doing it correctly?!?”
Friend who wishes they were someplace else: “Um, you sort of look like you’re saluting Hitler.”
Me: “Crap. Let’s try again.”
A month of Army training can be no worse than anesthesia school. What can they do? Yell at me? Make me wake up early? I owe them too much money, so they certainly aren’t going to kick me out…even if I do salute like a Nazi.
I’ve been told BOLC is like ‘Summer camp with guns’ and ‘Death by powerpoint.’ Unfortunately, it probably won’t involve watching the 5th season of Army Wives, but I’m pretty sure after my commanding officer sees how awesome I am at everything, Army Wives will be mandatory viewing for the next class.
And for that, all I can say is, “You’re welcome.”
Wish me luck as I spend the next month in San Antonio camping out in a field, playing with maps, shooting guns, and doing other fun Army stuff.
If you haven’t been to my new Facebook page–and you don’t hate puppies, go “Like” it.